A Dilemma: Example 2+

I blogged here introducing a dilemma faced in Vanuatu, regarding the general cultural acceptance of spousal abuse. I gave an example from our experiences last year in that post, and here want to mention a couple more.

We recently learned that, while we were away in the States, one of the Christian ladies here in Vila faced some very difficult circumstances. She had been having some health problems last year, and even spent some time in the hospital. We visited her there and tried to help her out as much as we could. We had assumed that the problems (back/stomach) were purely physiological, and hoped that treatment and medicines would remedy the problems. But, a few months ago, it came to light that her problems stemmed from physical abuse. Her husband is not a Christian, and is prone to “disciplining” his wife - so much so that last year he inflicted blows that resulted in a mis-carriage. For the safety of herself and their 5-year-old daughter, she left the house for a time, and sought assistance from the Women’s Center. Problem was, the employees she dealt with there were distant relatives of her husband, and ultimately they were little to no help. When her husband learned of her intentions, he successfully got a restraining order against her, preventing her from being within so many meters of their daughter. As if these facts alone weren’t bad enough, we are talking about one of the sweetest, gentlest Christian women you will ever meet. She regularly visits members in the hospital, never comes to our house without bringing a small gift of food, faithfully attends the assemblies of the church with her daughter, and bears much more fruit through her everyday good works … all in spite of the fact that her husband is unsupportive. The situation breaks our hearts, and we along with other Christians in Vila are trying to be a support to her, and praying for her situation regularly (namely that her husband’s heart will be softened, and that he will yield himself to Jesus). She has since moved back in with her husband, and shared with us last Sunday that she is again pregnant, and needs our prayers for that as well.

We also recently learned some things about a young lady who has been visiting our assemblies in Vila for several months. She is the adult daughter of one of the Christian families in Tulwei Village (Malekula Island - where we spent the past 3 years). She has lived in Vila for several years, working at her uncle’s small shop, and ended up marrying a man here in town last year. Since he was not a member of her particular denomination, she was “excommunicated” by them. Because of her family ties with some in the church, she began visiting with us, much to our delight. Her husband came with her a few times early on, but wasn’t really interested. She is now eight months pregnant with their first child, and with the other two stories we’ve mentioned in this series, it came to light that her husband is also physically abusive and sexually unfaithful. He works on a cruise ship and is therefore gone to sea for months at a time, and is not a Christian. We are obviously hoping to see to her spiritual needs, but also recognize her great need for physical wellbeing. She wants to do the right thing, but sometimes even we aren’t exactly sure what that is.

I won’t belabor the point further, but even now I am thinking of at least two other fine Christian ladies in Malekula who are struggling along the same lines, as their husbands are not Christians.

Please be praying that we will have the wisdom, understanding and opportunity to help these and other ladies in their endeavor to sustain peaceful and safe lives. We feel so helpless at times, but know that our God is bigger than these trials, and that He can work through His people to bring about wide-scale change.