A Dilemma: Example 3 (Good news!)

I blogged here and here recently, talking about the “culturally acceptable” practice of spousal abuse in Vanuatu. As I’ve said before, physically disciplining your wife is as commonplace here as disciplining your children is in the Western world, even among Christians.

It’s not easy to shake such a normative practice (in Vanuatu, you likely grew up seeing/hearing your own father and uncles so engaged, and were almost certainly surrounded by the practice in your community). In fact most, if not all, of the women who are currently incarcerated in Vanuatu are there because either [a] they finally decided “enough was enough” and retaliated with a knife when their husband wasn’t expecting it, or [b] they gave birth to an abusive/non-supportive man’s child, and saw no way of relief other than to kill their newborn baby by throwing him down the outhouse latrine, into a dumpster, or into the ocean. This situation has to break God’s heart, and does ours as well.

But there is good news… In particular, I am thinking about two families that have experienced Jesus’ promise of healing and renewal by the Spirit’s power. I’ve heard the stories from one Christian couple, about their pre-Christ relationship. He wasted his family time and money on kava, coming home in a drunken stupor on a regular basis. When his wife angrily shared her displeasure with his activity, he would “show her what happens” (physical abuse) when she disrespected him in such a way. Once she locked him out of the house, and his drunken confusion led him to burn their house down, destroying practically all of their worldly possessions. The vicious cycle of drunkenness, anger, abuse, and hatred seemed like it would never end. But it did. The good news of Jesus Christ brought forgiveness, healing and instruction to this couple and their children, and they are now pillars of the faith in their congregation and their community. They serve as living testimonies to the gospel’s power to change.

A second couple has dealt with similar problems. She went to night-clubs and participated in various associated pursuits. He took part in the usual drunken beatings, including one kick to the abdomen that resulted in a mis-carriage. The bitterness that existed between the two of them was self-evident, as they followed in the footsteps of their worldly upbringing. But when they committed themselves to Jesus as Lord, and began allowing His Spirit to guide them, they began experiencing very positive changes. To see them today, the facts of that old relationship are almost unbelievable as they evidence the fruit of the Spirit. 

While neither of these couples experienced an overnight, “cold-turkey” change, the longterm affect of the gospel in their lives is apparent. Both are true stories of conversion. In fact, when I get down about the work in Vanuatu, and begin feeling like we are just spinning our wheels and wasting our time, I remind myself of these two couples and others like them, and see how God is working in Vanuatu through our efforts - changing hearts and lives. We pray that the cycle of violence is slowly being broken as a new generation of children is being brought up in these Christian homes, where the teaching of Ephesians 5:21-33 is a centerpiece. The problem is systemic and its effects are widespread, but we serve a powerful God and have His good news to share. Please be praying that we can used for good in similar situations.