Monday, February 10, 2014

A Dilemma: Example 1

Women in Port Vila march thru town to bring awareness to the abuse problem. Photo credit: AusAID


One of the most challenging issues we face culturally in Vanuatu is domestic abuse. While I get the sense the situation has improved drastically over the past few hundred years, specific scenarios continue to break our hearts and make us wonder what the right answer is.

Before we left Malekula in the middle of last year, a woman had begun attending the studies and assemblies of the church in Tulwei Village. She had noticed a marked change in life of a local Christian family that lived nearby, and wanted to investigate. To say she has a humble, sweet spirit would be an understatement. And the effort required to prepare food, wash and feed her young children, and walk 15+ minutes in the heat to take part in our weekly assemblies was great.

A non-practicing Catholic for all of her life, she was for the first time studying her Bible and being blessed by Christian fellowship … we could see faith taking root. And then, all of sudden, after a few months of practically perfect attendance at all functions, she quit coming altogether. When a Christian friend expressed concern to her, we learned that her husband had “blocked” her from any future association with the church. You see, her husband practices black magic, casting spells on enemies for compensation, and he did not want a Christian influence in his home.

I had a friendly relationship with her husband, having visited with him casually many times (by the oceanside near his house, on the soccer field, at a wedding ceremony, etc.), and felt like I had a decent relationship with him. He is probably about 40 years old, has an extremely deep voice, and has some of the most defined muscles I’ve ever seen on a ni-Vanuatu man (and they are all quite sinewy). In fact, I vividly remember meeting him initially and thinking (proverbially), “man, I sure want to be on this guy’s side in a fight” - he is literally an intimidating presence. 

However, I knew all to well that a visit from me (or any of us) inquiring about his decision regarding his wife’s participation with the church could very likely end in a severe physical beating for his wife (and perhaps his kids). It is well-known that such blows have been leveled on her before, with general cultural acceptance … the thought of it even now makes me nauseous. Thus our dilemma: sit back and let this soul fall away before her faith ever had a chance to blossom, or take action that will likely result in mayhem?


I talked with local Christians about the situation, and they agreed with my concern. In fact, due the general acceptance of domestic abuse, their natural suggestion would be to “live and let live” and just move on. Upon further consideration though, we decided that first and foremost we would pray for the situation, specifically his heart, and it was determined that we would not address the issue with her husband directly. The plan of action was that we would attempt to show this family the love of Christ at every opportunity. The ladies class would visit her occasionally at their house, just to say hello and offer a prayer. The men would actively seek to engage the husband in everyday activities (in the garden, on the way to town, etc.). To date, our efforts have not been fruitful, but so long as I am alive I will be thinking about and praying for this family in Brenwe (“brin-way”) Village. Would you join us?

3 comments:

  1. We'll be praying! It's hard to imagine facing that dilema. We'll be praying for y'all as well.

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  2. We will pray, I will share with the ladies bible class to pray too.

    ReplyDelete