Anatomy of Holiday Youth Camp (Part 4): This year’s theme

It becomes evident fairly quickly that a primary problem facing the ni-Vanuatu is in relation to male/female relationships. Spousal and child abuse abound, more unwed mothers give birth in any given month than wedded, dating has come to include sexual promiscuity, and adultery and divorce have become commonplace. It can be dizzying to even think about how to tackle these cultural issues, as they have become quite deeply lodged into the social fabric.

While we haven’t given up on curing the problem (Jesus and His good news are the answer), we’re trying to make a concerted effort to promote preventative measures as well. And in this instance that means getting to the minds and hearts of people before they reach the point of forming those types of relationships. It’s been said many times, many ways, but a powerful way to affect the future is to engage the youth. God’s way is the wise way, and His narrative must be given a fighting chance to be heard in the midst of the world’s ideals and norms, especially in those whose world view is still being shaped.

As I observed the culture, especially in regard to the marriage relationship, I noted what had become the normal means of finding and taking a wife. The key words that I saw/heard time and again included “steal” and “hide” and “pay a fine” - all of which obviously point towards a broken system. Regardless, this had become the accepted procedure, and there are reasons for it, including the shift away from arranged marriages (as demanded by today’s young adults), and the awkward mix of old cultural norms (such as dowry) and newly introduced ways (such as rings and certificates). It all becomes so confusing to the young couple, that it becomes easiest to just sneak around until they become pregnant (whether intentional or unintentional), and then they often feel forced to remain together thereafter, never really making a commitment to each other.

My goal for this year’s camp was to offer up another way, readily conceding that the old ways have passed (namely arranged marriages), but that the new ways are not healthy or God-honoring (again cf. "steal" and "hide" and "fines"). I lead the group in a word study each day, focusing on the biblical meaning of “marriage” and “friendship” and “fornication.” The first two are regular parts of ni-Vanuatu vocabulary (with friendship meaning “dating”), but have become very muddied and often acceptably-sinful. And then I continue to be amazed that people are genuinely surprised when presented with a simple definition of the Bible word “fornication” - you mean its sinful to have sex outside of the marriage relationship?!?

I engaged my new discussion based format, and it once again proved beneficial. I was pleasantly surprised by the participation of the youth in a rather taboo topic, but they were definitely interested and keen to learn, and with a little prompting really took to the task at hand. We coupled the word study sessions with practical application sessions each afternoon, including each camper compiling (and subsequently sharing) a list of characteristics and qualities they wanted in a potential spouse, as well as a list of acceptable/unacceptable (i.e. wise/unwise) “friendship” practices. 

In our “closing” on the last day of camp I was so encouraged when a number of the youth stated that their favorite part of camp was the studies, expressing their gratitude. Likewise, a mother and a grandfather (camp counselors) conveyed their appreciation for broaching the difficult but important topic. It was truly a most-fulfilling experience, and arguably the best “work week” we’ve had in our ten years here.

To be continued…