Counseling and Consulting

One thing we’ve learned about Vanuatu culture is the value placed on mediated communication, to perhaps coin a phrase ;). While in the West we value the ability to confront a situation head-on, grabbing the bull by the horns, and “manning up”, these are quit undesirable characteristics in group-centric cultures such as Vanuatu. Here they prefer a more beat-around-the-bush, indirect approach, always eager to invoke the services of a mediator. With that in mind, our most recent trip to Northwest Malekula saw Shawnda and me taking the role of counselor and consultant.

I continue to be hesitant about putting details in such a public forum, but our counseling was an effort to mediate between a married couple that has been facing some significant problems in their relationship, including all manner of hatefulness and selfishness … a vicious scenario. In fact, it’s my opinion that the only reason they’ve stayed together is because, ironically, it is the easiest option available to them. Had either one been presented with a “reasonable” option to leave, they would have taken it. The situation has caused a lot of consternation for the church as well, both internally and within the community as the members have become the recipient of much gossip and scorn because of this situation. We spent time talking to the couple individually, and also with congregational leaders. The whole process is somewhat counterintuitive to me personally, because I would just assume the locals handle it themselves, but they value an outsider’s mediation, and so we did our best. By no means have all the problems been solved, but I do believe that a plan has been put into place that can have positive results. It’s going to be a long and arduous road.

We put on our consulting hats as well during the visit. Many of the churches here get into a rut of “we believe the right things and do the right things on Sunday” and never allow Christ to influence them much beyond that. I’ll be the first to admit that the mindset is largely the fault of missionaries such as myself, but it’s a mistake we are endeavoring to rectify. During the week, Shawnda met individually with the women and I with the men. We had asked them beforehand to think specifically about one “internal” ministry idea, one “external” ministry idea, and what changes/improvements could be done to the children’s and youth Bible classes (which had obviously both become quite stagnant). Beyond those three items, they were invited to share anything else that was on their minds. While we heard our fair share of complaints and blame-gaming, it turned out to be a positive and beneficial experience. Having compared notes with Shawnda throughout the week, I used our assembly time on Sunday to share some of the ideas that we had been presented, using Matthew 25:31-46 as our study text. Hopefully and prayerfully, 2015 will see the church in Tulwei Village take a more active approach to ministry and service within the congregation, in the community, and beyond.

As always, your prayers are appreciated...