That’s Bislama for, “the elderly person died.” Unfortunately, that’s the text message I received from Alsen the day before we were to travel on to Malekula. His mother had been diagnosed with kidney cancer late last year, and she had really taken a turn for the worse in the first few weeks of the new year. We were glad to be able to be in the village during the funeral events. Deaths are a communal event in Vanuatu, and we were glad to be able to provide some support to the family.
Of course, there are no funeral homes in Vanuatu, which means that the body has to be prepared by the family. The first order of business to cut down a tree, mill it into planks with a chainsaw, and build a casket (traditionally, they just wrapped the body in woven mats). With no preservative agents, the body has to be buried as soon as possible. The “grave-side” service is the main similarity Vanuatu shares with western cultures. You may recall that Flexon and Alsen’s dad is buried beside our house (we live on Flexon’s land), and now their mother has also been laid to rest beside him.
Beginning on the first night, friends and family members begin coming to visit the family carrying a kilo of rice. The women begin wailing as soon as they see one of the immediate family members on their initial visit to the house. It’s eerily emotional to be surrounded by 20-30 people wailing.
To express gratitude and facilitate continued togetherness, the family prepares lunch and dinner every day for 10 days (traditionally, 30), culminating in the largest meal on the 10th day. During those 10 (30) days, the male members of the family do not shave their faces to show that they are in mourning. At the 10-day meal, the men all shave, drink a shell of kava, and then eat a plate of food. The family killed two cows (one on the first day and another on the tenth), and cooked at least 20 bags of rice (50lbs each) during the 10 days. Extended family members donated vegetables from their gardens, as the immediate family is not allowed to work in the garden while in mourning.
I was continually amazed at how everything worked together so flawlessly. No one in particular was given a specific job to do, but everyone knew what needed to be done and when to do it, especially as it pertained to cooking (which was the main activity).
Sadly, “Abu Davit” (grandmother) went to her grave without ever obeying the gospel, but two of her sons have changed the tide in their family - living godly lives and training their young children to do the same. Please keep the family in your prayers as they continue to grieve their loss.
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| The men visiting before the next meal |
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| Butchering the cow, island-style |
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| The women "scratching" bananas and yams for laplap |
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| One of many wheelbarrows full of rice |
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| Huge pot of soup |
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| 10 days of growth before shaving (as they included me as a son in the family) |
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| Hand-carved spoon for stirring huge pots of rice and soup |
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| Cooking over the open fire |
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